One of the things that I hesitate to say out loud, but I’m saying it,(because really, what’s the point in pretending to be something I’m not?) is that I am so much happier now that school is back in session. Let me just say that I believe 100% that me being a stay-at-home-mom at this time in my life, in my kids’ lives, is the best thing for my family. I’ve realized that this is especially true in light of Sophie’s developmental delays. I have worked my butt off in the past year to help her get caught up, and it has taken a lot out of me. But she’s doing so amazingly well, and I know my being home and being able to work with her has played a big part in that. So I know I am supposed to be home now, and to be 100% honest, I want to be home now.
And yet.
This summer, with a baby in the mix and two big kids constantly begging for attention or bugging each other, I nearly lost my flippin’ mind. It was just not good.
My hats off to you homeschool moms, because if I had all three of my kids underfoot by myself five days a week, well, let’s just say it wouldn’t last long, because I’d be in the loony bin before you can say “xanaxicity“.
When my kids are gone part of the day at school, we enjoy each other more. That’s just the way it is. I must admit over the summer I raised my voice and said in frustration, “You guys are driving me crazy!” or “You guys are making me nuts!” way too many times. I just lost it. There comes a point when I can take no more and I got there a lot this summer. And when Bobby got home, I wanted to go hide by myself and just be ALONE.
And while I have a wonderful husband who is a wonderful father, he will never understand what it’s like to be me, and I will never understand what it’s like to be him. So when he sees me lose my cool, he generally does not understand. But he’s just seeing that moment. He hasn’t seen the twelve hours of incidents leading up to that, all the times I’ve been pushed and pushed and pushed. He just sees it when I finally pop. To him it’s the first time a child has committed the transgression in question, when in actuality, it may be the fifth or sixth time. In any case, it’s one time too many.
So anyway. I’m admitting all that, but I’m still not sure what it says about me. I just think when you have little kids in your face all day, it’s difficult. And I love love love love LOVE them am doing the best I can to love the crap out of them, but sometimes I get tired of being a live-in (unpaid) servant, of the adult ADD that I’ve gotten from not being able to, for the love of all that’s holy, finish one. single. task. without being interrupted, and I LOSE IT. Now that I’m in the throes of blissful fall, I’m realizing more and more how I spent the bulk of my summer in a state of anxiety and panic, mixed with frustration and anger.
I’m already saving my money so that the big kids can go to a week or two of day camp at Joshua’s school next summer. Not kidding. I’ve been amazed at how happy and efficient I’ve been this fall, and I’ve gotta figure out a way to make next summer better than this one that has just passed.
So. Feel free to judge. Or to admit you’re just the same. But that’s where I’m at. Now, I’m off to enjoy my 2.5 hours of only having one kid home while I can.
Uh, dude, the most amount of time I spend with my one kiddo alone is maybe a weekend. And usually I’m stark raving, please let me go back to work, at the end of that. Some moms are better moms when they’re with their kids constantly, some moms are better moms (this one right here!) when they have seperate adult time from their kid time. I love my kid and I know you love yours, but for real, children are an energy sucking vortex.
Thanks cousin! “Energy sucking vortex” – you crack me up. SO TRUE!
I so agree and I give credit to all the stay at home mom’s out there who have the hardest job ever. It was nice to hear the comment about your husband, because mine does the same and I just want to scream. It is encouraging to hear I am not alone!
Thanks Sarah. I hesitated to put that in there because I in no way want to slam my husband, he is awesome! It’s just like I said, it’s hard for us to get in each other’s shoes, which can be frustrating for both of us.
Mrs. Duggar thinks you’re a “candy ass wimp”!
Well, that’s not exactly what she said, but you get the point.
I was never a stay at home dad, and according to some, I wasn’t around often enough…there’s a reason for that…kids and familes are expensive. And I was always glad that my children were cared for by the mom who loved them the most. I could rest easy and work unfettered with worries. I’m sure the Bobster feels the same way.
As to alone time, that comes when they go to college or get a job and move out, and that is a vortex of another kind.
UR a good mom, UR not any crazier than the rest of the Brads Clan, and yes, that’s supposed to be a positive statement…
Hang in there, college is coming.
UP
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I work full-time and my kids still drive me nuts on a regular basis. On top of that, I am a control freak with a touch of the OCD…It took me awhile to realize that I just have to let some things go and figure out what’s important. Having a dance party with my 3 & 5 year old: important, vacuuming the floor: ehh, it can wait. I can’t even explain how again my nature that last statement is but I have been trying this out for a few weeks and have been less stressed, kid-wise. Don’t get me wrong, they still fight with each other and get on my nerves but it hasn’t been quite as bad since I’ve tried to adjust my priorities.
Let’s have a WOHM vs. SAHM debate. Go!
Pass on the debate. I wasn’t good at working outside the home either. I think I am just terrible at being an adult.
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow UP!
UP
I would take Stay-at-home mom over my working any day, but I definitely understand Jenny’s frustrations. As a teacher, I’m lucky enough to get to do both. While I’d pick being home with my kids 10 out of 10 times, I know it gets frustrating at times!!!
I so hear you! I also have 3 kids, ages 6,4, and 1. My 6 r old is in 1st grade and are pulling him to begin homeschool here. Yikes! It is what is best for him and I may be rocking myself in the corner every. single. night. But is the best choice for us. And besides if it doesn’t work out, I can always send him back to school.
Did you know that the Centerville-Washington Park District offers FREE camps EVERY weekday of the summer? You don’t even have to live in Centerville. I know you are a little further north, but if you looked up the parks in the north part of Centerville, it might be WELL worth your drive! They run for about three hours each morning. I sent my four year old there a few times this summer and she LOVED it. It was fun for her to play with other kids and get out of the house for a while. There was plenty of supervision and I felt very comfortable leaving her there. Check it out!!!! Free is good!
I love my boys dearly, but hear me now…You are not alone…enough said! 😉
Unfortunately. we do not live in a Leave It to Beaver world anymore. In the 50’s everywhere in America, whether city, small town or country, one could hear the sound of doors slamming about 9AM every summer morning as children left home and mom for the morning to play, roaming freely over the neighborhood and finding friends. If a mom were lucky, another mom would invite her kid to lunch. Bonus!
Now moms are much more “in charge” of keeping their kids busy since safety is such an issue. No matter how safe a neighborhood seems, a quick check online for sexual predators within a five mile radius of your home ruins that sense of safety. I know many moms do not let their kids play in their own yards without adult supervision for safety reasons. I don’t let my grandchildren out in my yard alone. Sad, but true.
So kids are not in charge of their own play anymore. The same is true for kids in child care. An adult plans the environment and supervises. What is a parent to do?
Unless a mom is outgoing to the limit, she usually needs some personal time to regroup and take care of herself a little or a lot, not to mention to get some necessary work done.It seems like moms are going to have to help each other out more. It also is okay to tell the kids..”you have to play alone or with your bros. and sisters because I have things to do.” Set a timer and see that you are not disturbed while you work or read a magazine or email a friend. They will have to take charge of their own play. Maybe they will rise to the challenge. Or as has been mentioned, there is always day camp, a great option for part of the time.
Totally understand, Jenny! My husband just scolded me for “growling” at my daughter today. What he doesn’t see are the fifty million times I ask her to do something each day and she fails to do it! Frustrating! Also, it would be so nice to just make dinner or clean up the kitchen without getting interrupted every 2 seconds. Many days, I am just living for 8 PM (or 7:30 if it’s been a real bad one)! I’m trying to get better, but I gotta say, I love having a child in school now! I like the baby stage and the school years, but in between with all the potty training and stuff, I could do without (or hire a nanny)….
I believe in honesty, even when it might be “painful” or “offensive” to some people. IMO, it is more “real” than hiding behind the everything-is-awesome-my-kids-are-perfect-all-the-time LIE that a lot of moms try to put out there. Kudos to you. Hopefully it will help more moms to be honest with each other about how things REALLY are, and you can get some empathy and encouragement, instead of judgement.
Oh Jenny I hear you. I wish more moms would admit they feel this way and give the rest of us a break. I adore my children and adore being a stay at home mom but they NEED school. They need their friends, they need their schedule, they need someone else other than their mother (who apparently speaks in a decibel they can’t hear) telling them what to do.
I am a VBS abuser during the summer. If your church has one, I will be at it. Most of them are the same so my kids are like VBS experts by the end. Keep your head up sister. You are a GREAT mom and the perfect one God has for your kiddos 🙂
A to the Men sister! And I only have 1child..then you can always count my 70 yr old dad that lives with us!! Lol