Pantsless Peril

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it *appears* that I have successfully potty trained a child BEFORE the age of three. And it’s even my OWN kid! Wee-hooo! Jonah has done great learning to use the potty and I am so PROUD of him! Β He just has two hurdles to get over before he goes to preschool January 6.

1) He doesn’t want to use a “big” potty/potty away from home

2) He needs to take his pants and underwear a-l-l the way o-f-f before he will sit on the potty.

Ergh…since there’s no tiny froggy potty at school AND going n-a-k-e-d from the waist down at school is generally frowned upon, we still have some work to do in the next 6-7 weeks. But he hasn’t had an accident and has stayed dry in all the public places we’ve been to, because he can hold it a really long time. Still, I need him to decide he will use the potty outside of our home!

The other *issue* I’m having is, well…he likes to de-pants himself a lot. Even when he doesn’t have to go to the potty. At some point in the late afternoon or early evening I generally get worn down from re-pantsing him and just let him go commando.

He then performs his favorite superhero routine by pretending to be Super Grover over and over and over and jumping off the edge of our couch with his junk flapping in the breeze. It’s pretty cute. Except for that most superheroes wear clothes…because if they didn’t that would be pretty creepy and illegal.

“Help me! Help me Super Grover!”

“Up, Up & Away! Da-da-da-da-da-DA!”

Jonah collage edit

I’m not sure how he’s saving lives by flying through the air half-naked and then landing in a pile of giggles on the couch, but hey, PRETEND PLAY FTW!

Of course he also likes to nude it up all over the rest of the house. Reading books, eating snack, playing cars = all way more fun when ya ain’t got pants on.

There are just a *couple* things that worry me about this.

A) Will he be able to have children one day? I don’t know, I mean, he’s never appeared to have injured himself up to this point. He’s also very careful to remove ALL materials from the couch before he starts his jumping-off routine. Still, accidents happen!

B) This one has already happened actually. You see, Jonah has an older sister who just had a birthday. That means there is an abnormally high concentration of glitter in our home at the moment. You know how glitter is, it just multiples for about 6 months after application and by the time it dies out, it’s time for another craft or birthday party. So there’s a lot of glitter lurking in my living room at the moment. Which means: Jonah’s junk is kinda sparkly.

It’s a vicious cycle: bathe him, clothe him, he nudes up when you’re not looking, and 3 minutes later: glittery junk.

I’m thinking we better get a handle on this at least before he’s in a junior-high locker room situation.

Or MAYBE I should just be more vigilant about keeping PANTS on my kid…but he’s a sneaky fellow, and not above pretending to have to go to the potty to have a nudepertunity!

But hey, let’s get back to the part where I potty trained a kid BEFORE HE WAS THREE! It only took me three weeks, too…you can order the engraving on my Mom of the Year plaque…NOW.

Do you have any kids in your house who prefer to live life un-clothed?

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16 Replies to “Pantsless Peril”

  1. I have a just turned three year old that hates pants. He doesn’t mind them when we are going somewhere but the minute we enter the house he is stripping. It took about a week but I finally trained him that he at least has to keep his underwear on. Although now that winter is here it’s kind of chilly in out house so I need to work on him keeping his clothes on.

  2. When my daughter was 2 she was always doing “naked ballet”. The solution was to enroll her in a real dance class – where she got to wear a leotard. Never had another issue with her undressing to do ballet!

  3. I’m pretty sure that’s just how little kids roll. My 2 yo is constantly taking his clothes off. Until recently he couldn’t get his diaper off so it was nbd. but now we are full monty all over the place. and he doesn’t go for the whole potty thing, so I have to be on constant vigilance. He generally doesn’t take his clothes off in public though one time we did have to have the waiter tell him that he couldn’t have dinner if he didn’t put his pants back on…

    My oldest didn’t go through a naked phase. My termite inspector said his two year old daughter does it all the time to so I guess it’s not just a boy thing either.

  4. I have 3 kids that think it is hillarious to run around naked. We have a big front window and if I hear a bunch of giggling from their room and then they will ask if the curtains are closed I know that the naked giggle parade is coming through. I figure giggling is better then fighting and they won’t be doing it when they are teenagers so why not. Plus it is so stinkin cute!

  5. No ideas for the pantsless kid, just a funny quote from my sister:

    “Glitter, it’s like the herpes of Christmas. Once you get it, it’s everywhere.”

  6. Sam likes to walk around completely naked, bend over, grab his butt cheeks and yell “FEAST YOUR EYES!”

    So it could be worse.

  7. My husband still has this problem, so I have no solutions.

    Molly doesn’t like being told what to wear, so the WORST DAY OF HER LIFE happens every Monday and Tuesday when she has to wear her gym shirt to school.

  8. My son is working on potty training now (3 yrs, 2 months, so you win with the under-3 accomplishment!) He will really only recognize that he needs to use the potty if he is naked from the waist down, so we are having a butt-load of naked time at home. Not sure how to transition him to wear something and still use the potty. And he may have answered the door naked on more than one occasion.

  9. OMG…I am laughing so hard!! The sparkly junk part did it!! I just read what Emily said about Sam though…too funny!! πŸ™‚

    P.S. At least he doesn’t want to go EVERYWHERE in public…been there, done that-GROSS!!

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